Facebook: where all the world's problems are solved. First, layering. Next, I plan to take on Kim Jong Il.

boy: Where did all this layering come from? I can't wait for it to go away. You know, Stacy London says it just makes you look fatter anyway.
____________________________________

Later that evening...

Old Navy commercial mannequin: So, I just KNEW that if I layered this orange tank with this pink one, it would look AMAZING, and HEY, I was right!

boy: OH. MY. WORD. I just figured it out...

girl: That the stores want you to buy more clothes?

boy: EXACTLY! Why didn't I realize this sooner? To layer you have to buy twice as many clothes. DO SOMETHING about this, would you? Get on Facebook; take care of it.

Points on which high school students may need clarification when the school district has an "abstinence only" policy:

No, you can not get pregnant from swallowing semen.

No, saran wrap is not an acceptable alternative for a condom.

Yes, there is a correct and an incorrect way to use a condom. Put it on as soon as there is an erection. Pinch the tip as you put it on, to leave room at the end for ejaculation. Hold the condom at the base of the penis and withdraw immediately following ejaculation.

Actually, no one knows for sure whether or not HIV started from a man in Africa copulating with a monkey, but it really doesn't matter. 90% of HIV infections are transmitted through sexual intercourse, and 60-70% of those are among heterosexuals.

Which, by the way, heterosexual means "straight".


This makes me really mad.

Pretty far up on the cuddling foodchain.

"Seriously, who gets more cuddles than you, except maybe a box of kittens?"

Go ahead, keep pro-jackass. I'll stay pro-death.

The stance of the church, and the comments from its lawyer, in this case are infuriating.

He knows me well.

(sleepily) "Well, I guess I should go home and study..."

"You are such a liar! You're not going to study; you're going to take a nap! 'Yeah, don't call me for AT LEAST 2 hours, actually make that 3, okay 4, because I'm going to be studying really, really hard for this test on Monday. It's comprehensive, did I mention that? Yeah, over the whole quarter, I mean year, I mean stuff we've never even studied before. In fact, I think it's the CPA exam. So whatever you do, DON'T CALL ME.'"

It's good to know your limitations.

Overheard in passing, spoken by the boy accompanying a girl wearing an ill-fitting bra under a sweater tank, a skirt that kept getting stuck between her legs (it took awhile to determine if it was indeed a skirt, or shorts), fishnet stockings of sorts, and plastic clogs:

"Well, I don't think we'll own our own clothing store or anything."

Blunt.

"Too bad. If only Ju'not were crippled or had polio or something, maybe he would have made it through."

(P.S. I do like Scott. But I am annoyed at most of the wild-card picks. Ju'not should have been there. And NICK!)

You wish this quilt were coming to live with you, don't you?

Well, okay, except for the fact that your last name's not "Bullard"...

I often find myself trying to remember what he's just said, because he makes me laugh hysterically. Every day. I'm lucky like that.

"She's definitely the best so far tonight. Maybe even in the competition. Except for Nick/Norman. He's in an entirely different competition altogether. And he totally wins."

..........

"Wouldn't it be weird if you loved me more than you thought?"

"Um, I don't know, sweetie, do you think that's possible?"

"Yes! I'm VERY lovable."

..........

"I think we should use vinegar, to get the garlic smell out of it."

"I put soap in it."

"I repeat, I think we should use vinegar."

"It's antibacterial soap. What if I just let it soak here?"

"How many different times can I say the same thing?"

"I don't care what you say, I think we should use vinegar."

[dumb-founded silence]

"And now I'm going into the other room..."

PROJECTS!

I never seem to download pictures from my camera to my computer in a timely fashion. Anyway, want to see what I did in December?



















I knitted 3 scarves, one for my mom and one for each of my aunts. I also taught my cousin Heather how to knit. I made the brown and cream scarf pictured here, a navy and white one, and then, THEN, I tackled a textured one. It was surprisingly simple, and the end result was amazing. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of it, and it's in another state. Boo.















I made a necklace for Tony's mom.















I decorated wreaths (one for Tony's door, one for mine).